The Misadventures of Crazy Bastard

the misadventures of crazy bastard 910 pretty

 

Me I’m Crazy Bastard. Spanky and that BBqboy find me in flea market in Croatia and think I make good mascot. They think wrong.

Now I start travel adventure and bring Crazy Bastard to the world . I write about many shit things I don’t like and also things I like. I don’t always write so pretty but I write in real Balkan way, not hypocrite way with shit smile on face. Maybe after you read you like way I write and come back.

I start my story.

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 Who is me, Crazy Bastard?
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happy toys

People have idea of dolls from watching movie like Toy Story. They think dolls cute and friendly. If you think that you think stupid. Most dolls angry. How you feel if you sit all time and dust collect on you and all you hear is people shit talk of weather and their problem? And kid pull off head and dress you in girl clothes? That is why many doll become evil like this:

scary dolls

 

So, you ask, me Crazy Bastard is evil like Gremlins, Zombie Children, and Chucky?

No. Crazy Bastard made for special purpose by Croatia army to infiltrate and destroy enemy. Make me disciplined and good killer. Now war is finished but I no stop. I like kill and destroy.

So maybe now you think me I’m international spy like 007 or Jason Bourne?

favorite men of adventure

No. Crazy Bastard no international spy.
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This is Hero of Crazy Bastard:

Dexter and Crazy Bastard

 

Crazy Bastard like Dexter.

He destroy insidious, evil, hypocrite dolls. Maybe Crazy Bastard not perfect but he have principles and he hate traitor dolls.

He use small size and doll status to infiltrate, surprise and kill human enemy. Like dirty terrorist. This he specialized in army training.

Crazy Bastard have strong opinion. He call out bullshit. So if you say stupid shit he say “Bullshit!” and smack you in face. This is way of Crazy Bastard.

Maybe you think Crazy Bastard is evil. Crazy Bastard no think he is evil, he think he make world better place.

Now Crazy Bastard will travel and he will take his mission to the world. In the day he is doll: quiet and still. At night he become real Crazy Bastard.

Now you know story of Crazy Bastard.

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Meeting “Bbqboy and Spanky”
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This is story of how meet Bbqboy and Spanky.

Me, Crazy Bastard, sit in flea market in Zagreb when funny-face woman pick me up. Man with stupid face I don’t like come to see. Me I think they look like this:

Bbqboy and spanky

I see Rocky and Bullwinkle when live in toy store in Pula. Now I see two real people that look like them and funny-face tell shit-face that she want to buy me for mascot. Like Bullwinkle he seem a bit stupid because he no seem to understand why she want to buy me. Finally he say “ok, ok” and he pay.

So this is story of how I first meet Bbqboy and Spanky.

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