Another new start …and on wondering if Spain is right for us.
A year ago (almost to the day) I wrote a post about moving from Nerja to Antequera. We hadn’t been happy with our lives or lifestyle in Nerja and needed something different.
The post here: We’ve moved! A new start in Spain (and in our lives…)
Just this past week we moved from Antequera to a temporary apartment in Granada.
It’s not that we weren’t happy in Antequera. We really liked the city, we loved the geography, we enjoyed all the cultural events. In many ways it was everything we wanted and we made the right decision when we decided to leave Nerja for Antequera. Zero regrets.
As I say we really liked the city. But enough to say that we wanted to stay another year or a lifetime? No. Life is too short.
A bit of background…
Most of our readers know that we travelled full-time for 6 years before deciding to settle in Spain in 2020. Why did we settle in Spain? We wanted to be permanent residents somewhere in Europe. We love being in Europe and can’t see ourselves ever moving back to Canada. And of anywhere in Europe, Spain made the most sense. So we came here knowing that we would have to reside at least 5 years before getting permanent residency.
*As temporary residents, you can’t leave the country for more than 6 months consecutively OR for more than a total of 10 months over the 5 years you’re working towards permanent residency. Once you have permanent residency the rules are much more relaxed with the major requirement being that you can’t be out of Spain for more than 12 months continuously.
Our first base was Nerja where we stayed for 2 ½ years. We arrived at the height of Covid and it was pretty much the perfect base. The town was quiet, surrounded by nature, and had friendly locals.
Nerja changed when Covid passed. Once travel got back to normal, Nerja became jampacked with tourists and expats. It was time for us to move on.
That led us to moving to Antequera a year ago.
If you want to read more about Nerja and why we chose Antequera (and why we chose to leave Antequera), see our post: Living in Antequera (compared to Nerja)
There’s been a lot of highs and lows over the last 3 ½ years in Spain.
A couple of things we realized:
We miss our previous travel lifestyle
We miss travel and we miss the lifestyle we used to have during those years of full-time travel. We miss the freedom of being nomads…and we get bored being in one place for a long time.
Most people don’t understand the above or even hate us (thanks Facebook!) for being able to live that lifestyle.
As I’ve written previously, you don’t have to be a millionaire to live a nomadic lifestyle. In fact our average cost of living over those 6 years approximates our cost of living in Spain.
A few months ago we were thinking that we’d leave Antequera and “slow” travel around Spain. We’d abide by the temporary resident rules regarding time spent in Spain…while discovering different parts of the country. It would be a variation of our full-time travel days (“full-time travel 2.0” as we started calling it).
Our lawyer poured cold water on that. “In order to apply for the permanent residency, you will have to show a 5 years of empadronamiento to confirm you were living in Spain. This is a mandatory document and without it, you will not be able to get Permanent Residency”.
* empadronamiento, or a “padrón”, is a document you obtain from the municipality you reside in which proves that you are a resident. How to get a padrón? Well, the most common way is to show them a minimum 1-year lease.
So our “full-time travel 2.0” plans have gone out the window…at least for now. It looks like we’ll have to have a lease somewhere in Spain for at least 18 months in order to fulfil the requirements for permanent residency.
Spain and on “living the dream”
A couple of weeks ago we were at the train station in Malaga heading home to Antequera. In front of us in the line were an American couple. We started talking and found out they were on their way to Granada (Antequera is on the Malaga – Granada line). They asked us where we were from and were shocked to hear we lived in Spain. Their exact comment: “you’re living the dream!”.
Are we living the dream?
Sometimes we feel we’re trying to fit a round peg into a square hole when it comes to Spain. We should love it. It’s beautiful, it’s cultural, it has plenty of sun. We speak the language so it should be a natural fit.
Why isn’t it?
During our 6 years of full-time travel we had taken a year off in 2017 to live in Split (Croatia). We had visited Croatia and had fallen head-over-heels with the city. We didn’t speak the language and immigration rules for 3rd country nationals were stringent (and would eventually lead to us having to leave). But we had fallen in love with it.
It hasn’t been the same with Spain. We’ve chosen Spain and have wanted (and are still trying) to make it work. But as I say, so far it’s been like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.
I don’t like to admit the above because I feel guilty. Most people think exactly like that American couple. Why aren’t we loving it? Why aren’t we more appreciative of the fact that we’re “living the dream?”.
What’s wrong with us?
Things learned
We’ve learned a lot about ourselves over the last 3 ½ years.
We thought that we could change our stripes, that after 6 years of full-time travel we could settle down somewhere and call that place home. We’ve learned that we’re not like that (or that we’re not there yet). We still have itchy feet. We’re not getting any younger and we know that at some point we’re going to have to settle somewhere long-term. We often talk about having a dog and of calling him or her either Darko or Zoran. But that’s hopefully at least 10 years away.
Maybe it’s those itchy feet that stop us from fully embracing Spain. As I say, maybe we’re just not there yet.
But we’re not unhappy. In Nerja we felt unhappy: we had a big apartment with a huge yard, there was a lot of daily maintenance. It was a life suck. It wasn’t for us. We learned from that and severely downsized and moved into a smaller, more modern apartment when we moved to Antequera. It required much less maintenance. We had more time to do the things we like and could just lock up the apartment and travel (last fall for example, we took 2 months off to explore Mexico. We also spent 10 days in the Baltics).
We’ve learned something about possessions which I wish we had learned 10 years ago when we left Canada to travel full-time. At the time we put almost everything in storage, basically everything that we owned. The thinking at the time was that “what if full-time travel doesn’t suit us?”. 4 years later we had it all shipped to Croatia. Then in 2020 we had it trucked to Spain. Everything. We should have ripped off the bandaid earlier, but in our minds the value of our possessions (we had some really nice furniture from Thailand, Morocco, Indonesia, Mexico) justified the storage and transportation costs. After all, we’d have to replace it at some point right?
It was all a big mistake and we’ve finally learned over the last year. Moving to Antequera we sold/donated 80% of our belongings. Then last week, we moved to Granada in a taxi with 2 carryon-sized suitcases, 2 backpacks, and a couple of bags of household items (a large bag of nice linens, a bag of essential kitchen stuff. All things that would be costly to replace if we have to rent an apartment). There were some personal items that I had to get rid of which made me cry on the inside, things like my plane collection (I had collected Shabak and Herpa planes since the 80’s) and my coin/foreign bills collection which had been passed on to me by my father…which I ended up passing on to an older man who looked just like him in Antequera.
But we had to get rid of those things. We’re preparing to travel again and we’re no longer going to put anything in storage.
Related: Every Nomad’s dilemma – Sell or Store your belongings?
Plans
Our lawyer popped our happiness bubble with the news on the empadronamiento rule. It set us back on our travel plans. Why can’t we just freely move around the country? Why do we need to sign a lease? (and no, receipts from short-term apartment rentals won’t cut it according to her).
But we’re adjusting. Being so light now with our belongings, we can find a small furnished apartment (in Spain it’s much easier finding a furnished apartment than an unfurnished apartment). It might be in Granada, it might be somewhere else. Either way we’ll explore that city and the surrounding region to death.
But the priority for us, the goal behind coming to Spain, is getting permanent residency in Europe. And it looks like that means signing a lease for a minimum of another 18 months in Spain. That, and fulfilling those 18 months in Spain, will finally get us Permanent Residency.
And then we can maybe get “full-time travel 2.0” back on track…
Memories from full-time travel 1.0
Related: Thoughts on the freedom of being a nomad…
Related: Regrets of living a Nomadic life
Related: Looking back at 2023…and forward to 2024 (a year of continued changes…)
Have you considered home exchanges within Spain (or the Schengen)? To cut down your travel costs if you have to keep a rental for now. No money is exchanged but some sites do give you « credit » to use at destinations of your choice. Or you can do a straight swap.
The problem is that 99% of rental contracts don’t allow you to rent or do home exchanges in Spain. Even having a non-contractual family member living in your apartment requires giving notice to the owner. The idea is great but…
18 months! You will manage! And then you are free to explore more of Europe and everywhere … Meanwhile, enjoy your time in Granada!
Good evening Frank,
An interesting post, and you and RJA noted, each traveler must answer that place/lifestyle question for themselves.
Jean and I have a home we love – Charlotte, NC, USA. But we travel about 6 months a year, slow traveling to learn history and live different cultures. We have some favorites – a Croatian Island town, Sevilla, the Alsace. But these are places we would like to stay for a month or two, not to settle. We haven’t found anything though that we like better than home (yet).
That said, it is always an adjustment going back… reconnecting there takes focused effort. Friends’ lives have changed, organizations have evolved. We enjoy it, but are always excited to “go again” after we’ve been back for a few months. Perhaps that’s the best of both worlds, or maybe we are just restless too.
Anyway, best of luck to you both on your finding your next stay in Spain. How about Sevilla? As I recall you lived there for a couple of months and had nothing but great things to share (except “vale, vale, vale”). It is certainly on our short-list for “return to cities.”
Cheers,
Mark (MnJTravel2)
Hi Mark! It DOES sound like you have the best of both worlds. Ideally, we should maybe buy a place somewhere at some point. We’ve thought about it. But on the other hand, that takes away from our freedom and flexibility. Also, we’re not getting any younger and who’s going to inherit our place? I have a son in Montreal but he’s not interested in going anywhere and then to have to come over and deal with a property in a foreign country? On the contrary, we’ve been divesting. Anything happens to either of us, it’s going to be easy because all we have is liquid assets. But at some point we’d have to rent something somewhere we like and despite that travel. But then you’re paying double rent…
I find it interesting that you don’t seem to reflect – at least not on your blog – over your lifestyle as such and how that may be connected to your feelings of ennui and restlessness. It’s a pretty extreme/radical lifestyle without any type of work or structure, far away from your roots, far away from family, not having stable long-term friendships in the area and a local community etc. Maybe the lifestyle as such is becoming less satisfying for you, rather than Spain?
I write this out of sympathy. I retired when I was 38 years old, 6 years ago. At first I lived abroad for a year and then I travelled a lot. After a couple of years I started feeling a restlessness and unhappiness that could only be overcome by travelling to new places, but then only temporarily. It made me think more about our human need for roots, connection, belonging, something meaningful to do where we are of use to others. I am still in that process and now try to live a bit more “rooted” but it is difficult. I won’t pretend to have the answers and I also think it varies from person to person what is right for them. It would be interesting to hear more about how you view the nomadic lifestyle as such, beyond any particular places where you choose to stay. Has your experience of it changed over time? What do you gain and what do you miss out on? Do you and your wife feel similarly about these things? Etc.
I realize that these questions may seem provocative. I know I was provoked when people questioned whether I would be happy as a full time nomad. It felt like they were trying to “bring me back into the fold” of a mainstream lifestyle. It was also scary thinking that I wouldn’t find meaning and joy as a nomad. There is a certain form a bad-faith questioning that I still dislike, but that doesn’t mean that the questions themselves are uninteresting or illegitimate, I think.
Hi RJA. I appreciate the question, I know when I write these posts you always comment and we always have a similar discussion on this subject.
I think it does vary from person to person. “Roots”, “Family” – in both our cases they’re scattered a bit everywhere. Even back “home” we didn’t have it. So that’s not part of the equation, never has been.
“Connection” does mean something and one of the reasons for falling for some of the places we loved: places like Split, Prague and Lviv. It’s part of the equation, but connections also fleeting. Let’s face it, it’s hard to make good friends once you’ve passed your 20’s. We’ve met people, they’ve been friends for a while, they’ve moved on or we’ve moved on, or things have changed…We’ve met a few people who we would really have liked to be friends with but they already had their friends. It’s nice to make connections and we appreciate when it happens, but we don’t count on that. “Connections” for us often mean the people we meet along the way and the friendliness factor we feel in different places. The often play a big part in how we feel about a place. But as far as making life-long friends, being ‘rooted’, belonging…that’s hard to come by and not something we actively look for. Even in Montreal where we lived 25+ years we didn’t feel that. Sure, we had friends, neighbors, work colleagues. But nothing that would ever make us say we won’t travel because we’ll be giving up on our roots and aquaintances.
We’ve found happiness and stimulation in discovering new places, history and cultures. We make our own happiness this way. Funny enough, I was the one who pushed to travel back in 2014…now Lissette is even more vocal than I am about wanting to get back to travel. It would be an issue if we didn’t see things the same way.
Anyway, I don’t see your questions as provocative. I understand what you are saying and when we started we also had people questioning us. And like you, it wasn’t always in good faith: some were jealous for different reasons or thought it was “stupid”. But as I’ve written before, our only regret when it came to living as a nomad was that we didn’t (or couldn’t) do it earlier.
Interesting subject and maybe I should do a post about it. But as you’ve mentioned, we’re all different. Some people (most people) could never live (or want to live) this lifestyle.
Thanks for a nice response! I know I tend to come back to the topic, since it is important for myself I guess… I haven’t fully been able to solve the equation of freedom/nomadism vs belonging/community/roots. If I was single and childless I could see myself going nomad full time but I think it would feel a bit too ephemeral after a while, like living inside the Lost In Translation movie. That’s how I felt eventually when I tried it six years ago, despite being an introvert with very little social needs. There’s also the issue of being useful to others. As a parent you don’t really have to think too hard about that, but I remember feeling a bit like a leech when living the nomadic lifestyle pre-kids, paying people to service me in various ways but never giving service to others. There was a constant backgrounds feeling of slight guilt… It would also be interesting to hear other people who have gone full nomad write more about this. It seems to be a topic that comes up for some after a while.
You seem to like central Europe a lot. Would you ever consider having a place of your own in Prague and build a base there (friends, regular activities etc) and then travel 100 days per year or so? I know you have to wait another 18 months before this is a possibility, but after that.
Understand your feelings RJA. And what you suggest for Prague is certainly a possibility down the line (we love Prague). But for now it’s just substituting one base for another more expensive base. We want the flexibility and freedom on nomad life. But yes, we know at some point we’ll have to have a permanent base and we’ll have to cut it down to 100 days or so as you mention…